No excuse for violence

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It must be tough raising kids on a benefit, and having an argumentative or violent partner can only add to the stresses in the home … My advice is that if things get tough at home, seek advice early. Family violence continues to hit the headlines across New Zealand and Oamaru is not immune. We have five to 10 reported cases of family violence per week in Oamaru.
Some of these complaints are from repeat victims where violence in the home is almost the norm. So, why is it that some women, in particular, seem to put up with repeat violence from their partners? I wish I knew.
I will be quick to add that there are some violent women out there as well. They will be treated by police in the exact same way as men if complaints are made about their violent behaviour. No bias or favouritism shown to the fairer sex, I am afraid.
When police are called to any reports of family violence, we shall take action if an offence has been disclosed. No ifs, buts or maybes. “Shall” is the operative word here.
Family violence can be verbal, psychological, physical or financial. No form of family violence is acceptable _ not in any shape or form.
If things are not going right at home, I suggest people get out and leave, even if it is for a cooling-down period before returning.
Staying at home and having an argument which can escalate into a loud verbal exchange or a full-blown fist fight or one involving a weapon is unacceptable, and will be severely dealt with by police.
What we do know is that in a number of cases, family violence incidents end in a murder. They sometimes have a long history where police have been attending to the parties’ calls of family violence time and again. Others occur out of the blue, admittedly, but these are rare.
There are lots of pressures on families, especially young families where there may be only one income, sometimes this being a Winz benefit. It must be tough raising kids on a benefit, and having an argumentative or violent partner can only add to the stresses in the home. So, it is no wonder police get called to family violence.
My advice is that if things get tough at home, seek advice early. If necessary, part company, even in the short term as a cooling down measure. That way, time becomes a great healer and maybe that will bring the parties back together in a more controlled and saner environment.
If that doesn’t work, the only real course is to stay apart and try to work things out through a third party. Maybe marriage counselling would be beneficial if there was such a will. Sometimes, in the end, the only way is to go through a lawyer.
Resorting to violence will never be the answer and can never be an excuse.